缩减无用的东西!Leapfrog the Boring?Stuff!
威廉·埃克斯

2014-04-01 00:00:00

除非你已经紧缩了很多,否则你无法知道你还可以删去多少无用情节! 紧缩剧本 紧缩剧本 紧缩剧本 紧缩剧本 紧缩剧本 有一个办法就是不断的问你自己:“如果我将这一步删掉,让故事节奏更快,这会不会损害故事的清 ...

除非你已经紧缩了很多,否则你无法知道你还可以删去多少无用情节!


紧缩剧本


紧缩剧本

紧缩剧本


紧缩剧本


紧缩剧本


有一个办法就是不断的问你自己:“如果我将这一步删掉,让故事节奏更快,这会不会损害故事的清晰度?”

例如,我有一个故事情景是一个男人陷入困境,周围一切都对他都很不利。

他的妻子告诉他:“向你的兄弟求救。”

于是他向兄弟求救.然后他们觉得他们最好跟另外一个在监狱里的兄弟联系。

他们跳进车里然后驱车前往监狱。最后三兄弟一起共同商讨下一步怎么办。


那么,经过无数次的修改,我认识到我可以切掉打电话以及谈话段落。

打电话和谈话的结果是去监狱和在监狱做的决定。所以,丢掉这一部分就能加快故事的节奏。我们会知道他们打电话与做决定去监狱看望罪犯哥哥。。。因为我们将会看到它。

当能够展示的时候就不要又说又展示!

修改后的故事是这样的,一名男子陷入困境,周围的一切都对他很不利。他的妻子告诉他:“向你的兄弟求救。”

他们驱车前往监狱。

三兄弟商讨下一步应该怎么做。

即便在一条直线叙事脉络里,当妻子说:“向你的兄弟求助”的时候,你仍可以感受到这故事有个小小的转折,然后我们直接切到他们开车去监狱。即使在那个有限的可发挥余地,你仍可以感觉到这个故事好多了。

那其实很想你看过的电影中的一个小小的剪切。这样使它更像一个电影,一个更好的故事。

紧缩剧本

紧缩剧本



Leapfrog the Boring Stuff!

Until you’ve done it a lot, you have no idea how much you can tighten your script.

And tighten.

And tighten.

And tighten.

And tighten.

And tighten.

And tighten.

One way to think about it, is to ask yourself, “If I cut this step, will it make the story go faster… and not sacrifice clarity?”

For instance. I have a scene where a guy is in trouble. Everything is falling down around him. His wife says, “Call your brother.”


He calls the brother.They decide they had better talk to the other brother who is in prison.They get in the car and drive up to the prison.All three brothers figure out what the next step will be.


So, on the umpteenth draft, I realized I can cut the phone call and the conversation. The RESULT of the call and the conversation is the visit to prison and the decision that is made there. So, lose the part I don’t need and speed up the story. We will understand that the call got made and that the decision was made to visit the convict brother… because we’ll SEE IT.

Don’t show and tell when you can show.


Now it becomes:
A guy is in trouble. Everything is falling down around him. His wife says, “Call your brother.”
They get in the car and drive up to the prison.

All three brothers figure out what the next step will be.

Even in the one line outline, you can feel the little SNAP when she says “Call your brother.” and we CUT TO them getting in the car and going up to the prison. Even on that little limited arena, you sense that it’s better.

It actually feels like a cut you’d see in a movie. It feels more like a movie. It’s better storytelling. Faster… faster…

Tighten.
Tighten.
Tighten.





  

本文由 @威廉·埃克斯 原创发布于拍电影网,未经许可,禁止转载。
分享到
0条评论 添加新评论
您需要登录后才可以评论 登录 | 立即注册
相关推荐
热门标签 更多标签 >
Top 日韩免费视频在线观看